This is going to be a long read guys, get your teas and tissues ready!
It was one of those days. My family and my sisters family would get together and spend our day together having food, catching up and playing games with the kids. Just as usual they came round to my place, it was Saturday the 8th of September (oh this day I wish I could forget). We were just about to get the food going when it was time for my sister to check her sons blood glucose levels. My 4 year old nephew is diabetic, he has Type 1 diabetes. He was diagnosed almost a year ago. I remember that day coming as a big shock for us all, never did I think history would repeat itself.
She took out the pricker to test his glucose levels. We all stood around praising how brave my nephew was. My Sister has this habit, she likes to keep her other family members checked all the time since her son got diagnosed with Type 1. She offered to check my familys levels that day, I laughed thinking yeah yeah why waste strips but go ahead if you wish, were not scared of a small prick, not at all!
My husband was in range (praise the lord), I was currently 5 months pregnant so opted out as my pregnancy sugar test was due in a couple of weeks. That left my 19 month old son. He’s the apple of my eye, I suppose we all mums say that don’t we. He was happily running around and playing with his cousins who had come over. My niece baught him over as my sister offered to check him. I thaught no harm in checking sure, go for it. She got a new pricker and inserted it into the machine, pricked him and bless he didn’t cry, he was baffled as to what his aunt was doing to him…. That moment… my life turned upside down!
p.s: This post has been the hardest post for me to ever write, I cant stop my tears from flowing as I remember flashbacks to write this piece up. I want to take this time to say to all my lovely readers to just keep my little child in your prayers, no matter what religion you believe or what cast you follow, after all a prayer is a prayer. xxx
Those 3 seconds were the biggest 3 seconds of my life, praying and waiting for the results to come in normal. I was confident they would be average, you know the 4mmol-8mmol. I guess I was wrong. Im not going to lie but my heart kept telling me something else, it kept feeling uneasy to which I didn’t know why, I guess it was mother instinct telling me things are going to change from here on.
The 3 second wait was over, my sister screamed in shocked, I baught my head forward to see why she screamed so loud, “This cant be right she said” ” surely you have fed him something dangerously sugary for his levels to increase this much, this isn’t normal” I took the machine of her hand to check and there was his blood glucose level. 33.3mmol!
33.3mmol, is this even a real figure I thought to myself, surely the machine had to be wrong. My little boy is fine, hes happy and playing, surely nothing can be wrong with him. Luckily my nieces came round a few hours before the whole family and saw me feed my boy at tea time, he had milk and cheerios to snack on, surely there not that high in sugars are they?. My heart was in shock, so was my body, I couldn’t move just thinking about my little one. My Life was swept away from under my feet in under 3 seconds, that’s it I said to myself, my child needs to see a doctor. I controlled my tears because I didn’t want to believe the results. My sister had a second machine at her home as a spare to which she offered to check him on that just incase the current one was incorrect. We rushed straight over to her house as she only lives a couple of minutes away from me praying along the way that the machine was incorrect and my little boy was not having high blood glucose sugars.
We reached, straight away got the second machine out and tested. It also confirmed HIGH. I couldn’t believe my eyes, I couldn’t believe how fast my life had changed from a happy family get together to the worst day of my life! Upon leaving my sisters house to go to the hospital I stopped to hold my son in my arms, staring at his little innocent face thinking why are we going from car to car, why is everyone rushing around. One look into his eyes and my tears came pouring out. I GAVE UP! I couldn’t move, my body froze, it was like I had died and my soul and body were just refusing to leave the world, something was holding me back, it was my son. I cried so loudly I literally poured my heart out to my husband, I didn’t think twice who was around me. I still couldn’t believe this was happening, afterall he was only 19 months!
We reached the Manchester children’s hospital (Manchester children’s hospital) at 8pm. Got checked in and seated ourselves waiting to be seen. I kept telling myself this was not true, how can this happen. I looked over to my husband who I could tell was heartbroken as much as I was, he uttered into my ear, stay strong its all going to be fine. I guess in hard times its the person suffering with you who can feel the real pain your facing. We both held onto positive thoughts and tried to look happy for our little boy. He was so happy to see lots of children in the hospital, he made friends with them all and even laughed and giggled. His smile definitely gave me the strength I needed to carry him this far otherwise I wouldn’t be where I am today.
The doctors called us in and immediately checked his blood glucose levels on there reader. That’s supposed to be 99% accurate as its super high technology the hospitals have to use. He showed 29.4 which was still high. This time round my boy started crying as he didn’t like the nurses and doctors all surrounding him. They were all mumbling amongst themselves which made me very uneasy as I didn’t know what the terminology they were saying even meant. A second nurse came urgently advising we check his ketones, the results showed 5.4. A nurse said we have to act fast and start his treatment. I felt I was in an episode of casualty where they use big terms and make fuss just to make the audience panic and anxious. I felt like the audience. The amount of needles they poked in my sons hands was awful. He has the tinyest most cutest hands full of baby fat to which they kept poking as the veins were not visible due to his hands being so small. All I could hear were the cry’s of my baby, I wish it would stop, I wish we could just go home and continue living like we used to. I prayed and hugged my baby so close to my heart assuring him its all going to be ok, he didn’t deserve all this, Type 1 got him!
They took some blood, some I mean around 4-5 tubes to find the cause of his high blood sugars and diagnosis. This was taken to the lab and we were then given a ward room to stay in. A nurse gave him an injection and said his treatment has begun, we will keep coming to monitor him in the meantime but you will have to stay here until we don’t figure out what the high blood glucose levels mean. Its like the nurses knew it was a diabetic diagnosis but ofcourse they couldn’t confirm anything yet until the doctor and blood results didn’t say otherwise. I suppose they see cases like this nearly everyday so knew pretty much what to do and expect.
The injection they gave was a type of insulin to bring his levels and ketones down. It was the ketones they were more concerned about as they can be alarmingly dangerous if above 0.6. It really confused me as my son had no symptoms of diabetes/ketones such as vomiting, fever, laziness etc apart from the fact that he had started drinking a lot of water but ofcourse that we thaught was because he just recently learnt how to use his new tippy sipping cup. I must say I was very greatful he didn’t fall ill as the nurses kept asking ‘is he in good health’ and I said yes ofcourse! I explained we tested him just out of fun and never ever imagined the results would bring us here.
That was the longest night, my sister came to the hospital shortly after we got admitted into the ward for moral support, it was nice to have her with us as she was one person who understood what its like seeing your little one go through something so traumatic since she had been through the exact same a year ago. Don’t you find it weird how something like type 1 which never existed in our family, nor extended family and nor extended extended family from both mine and my husbands side could suddenly crop up in my sisters and my child! were still in shock! Don’t even get me started on the opinions and views of guest visitors who came to see us afterwards, oh lord! il save that for another blog post I think!
It was about 12.30am, my son had some milk and went to sleep. He was knackered the poor soul especially after all the poking the nurses did. I suppose they were just doing there jobs and sometimes they have to be heartless regardless of age and condition since treatment comes first and emotions after, but as mothers, only we wish that the pain would just end and never return.
That night was also the first time I felt my second baby in my womb kick. It was like our second baby was also saying mummy/ daddy don’t worry its all going to be fine, even he/she was giving us moral support. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry because feeling your baby’s first kicks inside you are so precious but at the same time seeing the condition of my first born was not letting me overjoy the happiness as much as I would have loved to. It was like a sign of God saying with sadness I also send happiness and that moment was a true example of just that.
During the nights the nurses kept popping in and out to check his blood levels, by the morning he returned to the normal average 7mmol. Great news! But that wasn’t it. He kept spiking up and down throughout the day which confirmed there was a definite need of insulin required in his body to keep his levels maintained. They gave him shots of insulin with each meals to check whether he was insulin resistant or sensitive. He was sensitive which meant his body was responding to the insulin well and making use of it. Resistant means your body rejects it which then requires alternate methods of medicen. During the day, family came to visit and he was so happy to see them, he played and went around the wards saying “hello” to everyone he saw. My little boy is surely a charm!
My emotions were still running high, all I did was cry cry and cry. I felt so helpless and wished I could just jump into my little boys body and sort whatever cells needed sorting out. With every family member who came to visit it was like a repeat of the story from scratch and it just felt painful and painful each time. The diabetic team came to visit us on Monday and said the results are showing that my son may have Type 1 diabetes. It pained my heart everytime I heard the word DIABETES. STOP throwing that word at me I wanted to scream, STOP associating my son with diabetes I just wished they would stop.
There’s nothing else really that can affect blood glucose levels to an extent of them fluctuating so many times throughout the day other than diabetes, whether it be type 1 or type 2. I suppose this was the start of a new lifestyle change for my little boy and I assured my boy that mummy and daddy would hold his hand forever and ever. Iv never really prayed for my own long life, but now I pray for my long life everyday so I can be there for my son at all times. He’s going to live the healthiest life out there I know it because he’s a Super Boy! My husband at this stage (day 2) just went into shock mode. Being a man who’s never really cried much and has held strong couldn’t control his emotions this time. All he would do is cry and pray his son recovers. Unfortunately Type 1 diabetes is not something a cure has been found for yet. We can just hope a cure is found as soon as possible because not just my son but there are millions affected by this diagnosis around the world, surely we need to act fast. (Diabetes diagnosis Statistics)
We stayed in hospital for 5 days. The nurses gave us diabetic training on how to control my sons glucose levels, they prescribed us a whole bunch of medicens which we would have to use now for LIFE! It gives me the shivers even thinking about it! My little son is so innocent he has no idea why mummy/daddy poke him 4 times a day to inject insulin, or even 6 times a day to check his glucose levels. He is so brave I have no words to express his braveness. My little soldier!
I still think to this day how such a small body can be affected with such a HUGE lifestyle change. They don’t deserve this but I suppose we cant control what’s happening in each person’s body. There are millions of diseases out there, we just have to be greatful as there is always someone out there who is in a worser position than us. Going home that Thursday was another roller coaster journey. Knowing that we would have to make regular visits to the hospital, knowing that my son is on life-long medicen, knowing that things are not going to be the same no more just killed me from inside. I wish this didn’t happen , I wish I wish I wish…. to be continued….
Hey Coffees, I think il stop right here for you. Its been a long 4 week journey since my little son’s diagnosis. As an update, we are coping well. I just want to say to all those mothers and fathers out there who care for a child who requires treatment is a Warrior! Its the hardest thing seeing your own flesh and blood go through pain, go through illness. Health is such a great blessing that I pray is never taken away from anyone, but if you have been tested then surely know that you have been chosen because God knows you can do it, he knows you can handle this shit! It aint easy but trust me he knows your the one! I send my love to all those out there struggling and fighting for their children’s lives, we can do this. your not alone, were TOGETHER!
Until next time keep your comments coming, I would love to hear everyone’s story and show my support:)
Much love Coffee. xxx
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